conceal my flaws

“Where do we go from here? Conceal me. Conceal my faults, for I am nothing more than a human. A human who stumbles and strays, a human who miscalculates and misbehaves. Conceal my faults, in times of frenzy and furore, passion and madness, in those momentary lapses. For madness is found in the souls of all men, not just my own. In the stories of old, wisdom masked itself through madness, while in others it was exasperation. Now I know I am not wise, but exasperated? Maybe.”

“Why? you may wonder? Most likely it is my own fool-hearted beliefs of love and life — faith, not fact, I must admit. I wake for you, carry, run, leave and come for you. I stay silent for you. Hold back the very thing which makes weak men undefeatable — pride. I allow it to be taken repeatedly, and just like a child looks for aid, I seek a voice to speak my heart and sing my sorrows. But all I hear is silence. For is not my pride and pain comparable to another’s? Are they not equivalent to others and valuable enough to protect? And in the midst of sadness I find madness — acceptable? No. Understandable? I can only hope so.”

“But conceal me. Conceal my faults, for I am nothing more than a human in need of saving. I long for a simple word to form armour at my back, and not weapons to add to the steel already through my heart. Conceal me in those moments, in those weak moments I face. Do not abandon me to face them alone — to form bonds with my demons, to face sadness with anger. Veil my flaws, because I am ashamed of them, afraid to be called out for them. But you have a veil big enough to hide me, to lend a helping word, to fortify my fragile soul. You can save me, in all these moments, the very saviour I need.”

“And yet here we are again? A moment of madness, not through pride but pain. And here I am again — alone against the world being asked to give up even more of the nothing I have left to give. so let me ask you this, what do you do when you have nothing left to give? Where do we go from here?”